


not a single day goes by when you don't cross my mind

by wingsoutforshin (7daysoftorture)



Series: bandori prompt inspired fics [3]
Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: But not really a sick fic, F/F, Getting Together, Love Confessions, Mutual Pining, Sick Character, but mainly pining lisa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-20
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:14:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22809976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/7daysoftorture/pseuds/wingsoutforshin
Summary: Despite the reassurances Ran has given her that ‘Moca hasn’t gotten worse, just hasn’t gotten better enough to go out yet, and really, Lisa-san, you should just go visit her if you’re that worried’,  Lisa can’t help all the images her brain decides to create of her suffering all on her own in her bedroom.----Moca is home sick. Lisa is surprisingly bad at feelings and doesn't know how to deal with not seeing Moca as often as possible.
Relationships: Aoba Moca/Imai Lisa
Series: bandori prompt inspired fics [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1609276
Comments: 3
Kudos: 41





	not a single day goes by when you don't cross my mind

**Author's Note:**

> here's the mocalisa "i missed you so much" prompt request for kiri, hope you like it!!

Moca is out sick from work.

And, well, it’s not like Lisa doesn’t like the girl from the monday shift that’s come to replace her today, exactly, but she doesn’t smile as much, or tease as much, or scrunch her nose up in that special way Moca does when something doesn’t sound good to her. She’s not _Moca_.

Lisa doesn’t have many chances to see Moca outside of work, despite the fact that they go to the same school and have band practices and concerts in the same place and sometimes at the same time, so she always looks forward to the time they get to spend side by side, talking quietly behind the counter about anything and everything. She knows she should be satisfied with the amount of time they spend together, shouldn’t be so greedy as to try and monopolize all of Moca’s time - but there’s nothing she can do to stop the squeezing in her chest, the underlying feeling that something is _wrong_ whenever they go too long without seeing each other. 

She guesses that’s what comes with being in love, but this is still a new thing for her, and she has nothing to compare it to outside of television dramas and the cheesy commercials that play during valentine’s day. Maybe, in reality, her feelings are weird and it’s not normal to want to be around one single person so much. 

She wonders what Moca would say if she knew, what her reaction would be if Lisa spilled her guts and left her chest open to her like a newborn child. It’s a scary thought, and her heart half trips over itself as her imagination gets away from her, bubbling up an image of a Moca who would accept her feelings, would even reciprocate them. But no, Lisa can’t burden her like that. Moca, who’s sweet and gentle despite her goofy exterior, who tries to come off as someone who doesn’t care and ends up caring the most out of everyone. Lisa won’t be another worry for her, she _refuses_ to be.

So she carries her shift through to the end, being as nice as she can to Hana-chan, despite the ugly feeling in the pit of her stomach, the irrational simmering anger that won’t unstick itself from her, a strangled low voice in the back of her head that screams about how Moca should’ve been the one here with her, not this girl she barely knows. It’s incredibly unfair to Hana-chan, who’s sweet in her own subdued sort of way, so Lisa tries her best to push it all down, directing the anger towards herself rather than outwards at Hana-chan. If she were a better person she wouldn’t be having such awful thoughts. If she were a better person she’d be glad there was someone to replace Moca, someone to be here while she’s at home resting her cold off. Clearly, Lisa’s the one that’s strange. She wants to throw all her ugly thoughts away and keep only the light glow in her chest, only the pure feelings. And maybe that’s naive of her, maybe she’s too young to understand how this stuff really works. Does her mom have black stains in her chest too? Was it like this for her, when she first started liking her dad? Lisa wonders how she dealt with it if that was the case, because she sure isn’t dealing with it very well on her own.

  
  


Moca isn’t at school the next day either. Lisa knows because, against her better judgement, she goes all the way to her classroom to check and meets Ran instead, who tells her that Moca is still too weak to risk coming to school.

“I hate getting colds,” she adds, unprompted, “but Moca is surprisingly worse. You’d expect her to be all whiney about it, but she’s the type to keep it to herself until it’s so bad someone finally notices, and then when she’s bed ridden she still won’t ask for anything or tell you when she’s in pain. One time, she passed out from a fever mid-practice because she thought ‘it was just a little hot’. It’s ridiculous. She makes fun of Tsugumi but she’s basically the same sometimes.”

Lisa lets out a fond giggle. “That does sound like her.” She pulls a strand of her hair behind her ear. “But really, how is she doing? You’ve gone to see her, haven’t you? Is it really bad? How long until she’s better, do you think?”

“Uh, yes, I saw her yesterday,” Ran says, and Lisa feels the bitter taste of jealousy fill her mouth. She hates it. Ran is the best, there’s no need to be jealous just because she gets to spend more time around Moca than her. Lisa could very well do the same if she just got the nerve to come down to the 1st years’ floor and have lunch with them once in a while. “She’s getting better, I think she’ll probably come to school tomorrow. She loves lazing around, but if it’s out of sickness she’s really stubborn for some reason and always comes back to school before she’s completely better.”

Lisa allows a soft smile to grace her lips. “Yeah...she’s stubborn about the strangest stuff.”

Ran gives her a strange look. “Why don’t you go and visit her?”

Lisa squirms in place, suddenly uncomfortable at the turn the conversation has taken. “Ah, well, if she’s coming back tomorrow then I’ll just wait to see her then. I don’t want to impose, and I’m sure she needs all the rest she can get.”

Ran frowns, looking away. “I see.” She tilts her head. “She’d be happy to see you, though.”

Lisa feels her cheeks bloom red and looks down, letting her hair cover most of her face. “Oh, uh,” she bites her lip, “I’d be happy to see her too, but as I said, she probably needs all the rest she can get.”

Ran makes a low sound in the back of her throat and crosses her arms over her chest. “Okay.” She turns away, and mutters something that sounds suspiciously like _‘can’t say I didn’t try’_ under her breath. 

“Well then!” Lisa exclaims, feeling her heart drumming hard against her chest. “I’ll be going then, bye Ran!” 

She flees. It’s kind of embarrassing how fast she walks, actually, as if the devil is on her tail. It’s just Ran, with her knowing eyes and her strange looks as if she knows something Lisa doesn’t. Nothing to be scared of, haha.

  
  
Moca is _not_ back the next day, as Ran had predicted.

Lisa’s worry turns up a notch and by the time school has ended and her shift has started, this time with Rika from the Saturday shift replacing Moca, she’s almost nauseous with it. She wants to go check on Moca, reassure herself that she’s not actually dying somewhere out of view from her.

Despite the reassurances Ran has given her that _‘Moca hasn’t gotten worse, just hasn’t gotten better enough to go out yet, and really, Lisa-san, you should just go visit her if you’re that worried’_ , Lisa can’t help all the images her brain decides to create of her suffering all on her own in her bedroom. She hates feeling so helpless, and there’s nothing quite like the awful feeling of having someone you love being sick and being completely useless against it. She hates it, but it still feels like too much for her to actually follow the pull on her chest and go see Moca.

“It was nice seeing you again, Imai-san,” Rika tells her at the end of their shift, smiling shyly off to the side. She’s the sort of girl you wouldn’t expect to be very good with retail work, but she’s surprisingly great at dealing with hard customers. Lisa admires her in that respect.

“It was nice seeing you too, Rika,” Lisa says, trying to sound like her usual cheerful self despite the worry eating away at her insides.

“Tell Aoba-san I hope she feels better soon,” Rika says, and then she’s off, leaving before Lisa can tell her she’ll probably only see Moca once she’s better, and that Rika’s well wishes will be useless by then.

She’s heading towards Circle when she gets a text from Yukina: _“I heard from Sayo, who said she heard from Hazawa-san, that Aoba-san is sick and you haven’t gone to visit her despite Mitake-san having suggested it twice. What’s going on, Lisa? It isn’t like you to avoid things like this.”_

She hesitates for a long moment, fingers hovering over her touch-screen, before she finally replies: _“Nothing’s going on, I’m fine. I’m sure she’ll be back to school tomorrow and I can talk to her then.”_

Yukina’s reply is as fast as it is unintentionally cutting: _“I didn’t realize you were this scared, I’m sorry. I won’t push you to go, but knowing Aoba-san she’d probably be glad to see you. And from how down you’ve been these last few days, which I now know the reason for, I think you’d be happy to see her too.”_

Yukina is right, of course, Lisa would undeniably be happy to see Moca right now. She’s happy every time she sees Moca, though, but that doesn’t mean she should go to her house out of nowhere to see her while she’s sick. And maybe she’s afraid of being unwelcome, or maybe she’s _terrified_ of being welcomed with open arms and ending up blurting out something she shouldn’t - regardless, she’s afraid of _something_ , and it really isn’t like her to avoid her fears. Deep down, she's known this all along: the fact that having feelings for Moca has turned her into a bit of a coward.

She doesn't like it. Actually, she kind of hates it, really - and she can’t believe she’s lived long enough to see Yukina playing the role of the emotionally reasonable friend.

 _“You’re right,”_ she writes back, gripping her phone tight between her fingers, _“thank you, Yukina.”_

  
  


Lisa doesn’t know Moca’s address, but one text to Ran quickly changes that. She drops by Yamabuki bakery on her way there, and she doesn’t know if it’s the feeling that she needs to bribe her way in that compels her to do so or just an innocent desire to see Moca smile at getting something from her. She tries not to think too hard on it.

When she gets to Moca’s place, she hesitates by the front door, suddenly unsure if she really should have come after all. What if Moca’s too tired to speak to her? What if Moca’s parents send her away because they don’t want her to make Moca worse by wasting her energy? What if Moca’s sleeping right now and Lisa just ends up waking her up like an idiot? Her head is overflowing with all kinds of scenarios where this ends up being a terrible idea, and she’s just about to turn away and head back when Moca’s head pops out of one of the upper windows of the house and she shouts, in a nasally, clearly still under the weather, voice, “Lisa-san! You came to see me!” She looks delighted about it, her grin so wide it almost splits her face. “I’ll open the door, just wait there!” And she’s gone, her head disappearing back inside the window.

Lisa stares into space for a long moment, unblinking, and then lets out a relieved laugh, all the tension she’d accumulated throughout the day dropping from her shoulders. 

_Of course._ Of course Moca would see her just as she was about to lose her nerve. Of course she’d invite her in, looking like Lisa was the best thing she’d seen all day. Sometimes, maybe her overly active imagination is a bad thing, Lisa realizes.

When the door opens, she finally properly sees Moca for the first time in three days. It’s scary how warm her whole body feels, how shaky and sweaty her hands are. Somehow, it feels like an eternity since they last saw each other.

“Hi,” Moca says, stepping aside to let Lisa in. Her lips look dry, her nose red, and her hair is plastered to her forehead like she’s recently woken up from a nap that she sweated all the way through. She looks beautiful regardless of any of it, with her pretty blue eyes and her pale eyelashes that brush against her cheeks every time she blinks. Lisa wants to hug her until she sticks to her ribs like glue - she never wants to lose sight of her again.

“Hi,” she says, watching Moca close the door behind them. “I bought you some bread, if you want.” She offers the bag up with a nervous smile.

Moca’s grin widens. “Ah, Lisa-san really knows Moca-chan!” She grabs the bag from Lisa’s hand and starts walking off deeper into the house. “Come, I’ll make us tea.”

Lisa follows after her, feeling her heart race in her chest and her clothes get stuffy as she slowly overheats. _Don’t stress, it’s just Moca,_ she tries to tell herself, but that’s just it, it’s _Moca,_ who Lisa is still very much in love with and has been apparently visibly moping over for the last few days, as if she can’t go without seeing her for longer than a few hours. Ridiculous, is what she is. Ridiculous and completely unable to help it.

Once in the kitchen, Moca fills the kettle with water and sets it on the stove while Lisa takes a seat at the table. She watches Moca carefully as she moves around looking for the teabags - her movements are steady, but if what Ran said was true then she could very well just be hiding how sick she still is behind a smile.

“Are you well enough to be out of bed right now?” Lisa asks, an edge of worry creeping into her words. 

Moca throws her a careless wave over her shoulder. “Moca-chan is only still staying home because her parents are paranoid.”

“That’s not what Ran said.”

“Ran is paranoid too,” Moca says, turning fully to face her. “Is Lisa-san worried about dear Moca-chan?” She grins, teasing, and then steps closer to where Lisa is sitting, her expression turning a bit more serious. “There’s nothing to worry about, promise. I’ll be back to school tomorrow.”

“Ran also said that about today and yet…” Lisa replies, looking down at her hands.

“Oh,” Moca lifts a hand to Lisa’s face, fingers gentle as she moves her hair out the way. “I didn’t know she said that.”

Lisa looks up at her, trying to muster up a smile, her heart trembling in her chest at the soft touch. “But you do look better than I thought you would.”

“That’s because I _am_ better,” Moca says around a snort, pulling her hand back. “Lisa-san doesn’t need to think about that sort of stuff, I’m gonna be just fine.”

Lisa does manage a genuine smile this time. “You know, not having you at work was weird.”

Moca grins, her eyes wrinkling as she leans down so they’re at the same eye level. “Did you miss me? Was work boring without Moca-chan around?”

“I did,” Lisa admits, looking up at Moca with as much open honesty as she’s able to show right now, with her heart climbing up her throat and resting behind her teeth. “I missed you so much.”

Moca’s eyes widen, her cheeks going from a soft pink to a dark red. “O-oh,” she quickly leans back up, her eyes moving around the room like a startled rabbit. 

Lisa wonders if she said too much, if her shot at being honest spilled too clumsily out of her mouth. She’s just about to get up and make a run for the door, embarrassment cursing through her veins, when Moca speaks again, “I missed you too,” she mumbles under her breath, fingers twisting at the fabric of her sleep shirt. “It’s boring without seeing you for so long.”

And Lisa thinks, _‘it was only three days’_ , but her heart is back down where it belongs, beating fast and insistent between her lungs. “It really was a long time, wasn’t it,” she laughs, feeling something release in her chest, a feeling of relief overcoming her at the knowledge that it wasn’t just her, that Moca also felt the distance and the days as keenly as she did.

Moca humms, bringing three fingers to Lisa’s wrist. “Lisa-san,” she whispers, and Lisa wonders if her throat hurts, if she’s been enduring it this whole time for her sake. “I would kiss you, but I don’t want to get you sick.”

Lisa’s eyes snap to hers, face unbearably hot. “W-what?”

Moca purses her lips, looking at her with careful eyes. “Did I read this wrong?” She starts to pull her hand away.

“No!” Lisa says, grabbing her hand between both of hers and accidentally causing her to trip forward and into her. “Ah, sorry!” she yelps, feeling Moca’s warm face hit her shoulder, her knee pressing against the outside of her tight as she tries to steady herself.

“Lisa-san is very forward, huh,” Moca says, teasingly, pushing herself off of her but remaining close enough that Lisa can see the specks of gold in her eyes.

“I-” Lisa licks her lips, nervous all of a sudden, even though it seems so clear now that they must be on the same page. “I like you.” She looks down at their hands, still clasped together in her lap. “I really _really_ like you, Moca.”

Moca takes in a sharp breath, drawing Lisa’s attention back to her face. She looks - happy, unsure, nervous. Lisa feels like she’s looking in a mirror.

“I’m sorry,” Moca says, “I don’t think I can hold back after all.”

“Wha-” Lisa tries to say, but she’s cut off by Moca moving forward and pressing their lips together into a soft kiss. She tastes like sugar and strawberries, like the candy Lisa sometimes sees her buy at the store before they leave after their shift. It’s wonderful and sweet, and Lisa can’t help but open her mouth for more, tongue swiping out to taste the inside of Moca’s lips. Moca lets out a soft breath of surprise when their tongues touch, as if she hadn’t expected it, and Lisa almost pulls away at that, wondering if she did something wrong, except then Moca is gripping the back of her neck and pulling her even closer, gently biting down on her lip and drawing a soft sound out of her that she thinks she’s never uttered before. She smells so nice, she tastes so nice, she feels so nice. Lisa wishes she could keep this moment on repeat for all eternity, could keep Moca here, warm and pressed up against her as if they'd both die if there was any breathing room left between them. 

When they finally pull apart, Lisa can feel her heartbeat on her lips, tender and hot as they are from Moca’s ministrations. Moca’s don’t look much better, and the sight of her, eyes dazed and face bright red, is almost enough to make Lisa pass out in bliss. 

“I really _really_ like you too, Lisa-san,” Moca says, squeezing her hand and smiling softly at her. “I’m sorry that I might have gotten you sick, though.”

Lisa laughs, her chest bubbling with almost uncontainable happiness. “Will you come visit me at home if I do?”

Moca pecks her on the lips. “Yes, Moca-chan will even nurse you back to health, if you want. I can be your private nurse.”

Lisa snorts, trying to imagine Moca in a nurse outfit and failing miserably at picturing anything remotely realistic. “Okay, okay, we’re getting carried away now.”

Moca jokingly looks down at the floor, pretending to be upset. “Rejected just like that, how will Moca-chan’s heart ever recover?”

Lisa pulls her by the hand and circles her free arm around her waist. “Hmm, yeah, I do wonder.”

And when Moca grins and leans down to kiss her again, she meets her halfway.

  
  


END.

**Author's Note:**

> comments are very much appreciated!
> 
> find me at:
> 
> twitter: @wingsoutforshin


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